Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Here in Chicago, people go pretty nuts about St. Patrick's Day. You know, dyeing the river green and whatnot.

Even though Ireland is one of my favorite countries, I've never been that into the holiday. We did, however, have a "First St. Patrick's Day" outfit for Baba G last year when he was less than two months old (before I started this blog). So here is a blast from the past to wish you a Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Even got the green pacifier -- how ya like me now?

Shamrock Shake Shake Shake Your Booty!

For those of you who are going to be downing some green beer or green eggs and ham or whatever other weird things you eat and drink in honor of St. Pat, have fun and be safe!

Kid O Sorting Primary Colors - Rings

When Baba G was a newborn, I remember how hard it was for me to imagine him ever being able to move on his own. It seemed impossible that he would one day walk, much less crawl ... much less roll over.

Same thing went for his toys. I just couldn't picture the day when he'd understand how to match up shapes, stack blocks, or put things into containers. So when he received the Kid O Sorting Primary Colors - Rings for his first birthday, I thought, "He is NEVER going to actually stack those things."

And for a month, I was right. He had a blast throwing the rings all over the place, but stacking them onto their designated pegs wasn't gonna happen.

Until one day, he did it.

Slow and steady...

No big deal.

And from that point on, he would both throw the rings around the condo AND take a few precious moments to re-stack them.

I can do it without even looking!

And, of course, he would carry them around in his mouth, like he does with almost everything. He is part boy, part doggy. Thankfully this toy is free of all the toxins that are usually in plastics.

I swear the red ones taste better.

Here's a short video of Baba G in all of his stacking glory:


So the moral of today's post is that your kid IS going to learn to do things you can't imagine them ever being able to do when they are teeny babies. And no, it's not like I had no faith that BG was going to figure out how to do anything besides throw stuff, but it really was hard to envision nonetheless. It's easy to think every phase of development is going to last forever when you're in the thick of it.

The bottom line: Kid O is a really, really cool company that makes a ton of awesome stuff. (You can rest assured I'll be buying Baba G this Fox Wobble when it hits stores later this year.)

The Primary Colors Stacker - Rings is a great product that will help test your kid's patience (a good thing), build his fine motor skills and — eventually — teach him how to match up colors. Baba G hasn't gotten to that last part just yet, but hey, he's already come a long way in just a few weeks since he got this toy.

I personally love how bright the colors are and how simple and clean the design is. And as I mentioned above, the rings and base are BPA, phthalate and toxin-free.

Amazon sells the Rings (with a different, wooden base) for $15.30. The all-plastic version I have seems to go for around $19. 

"Catching Up" Guilt

I have a pretty bad memory, so I have no idea why this particular moment has stuck with me so vividly: it was the summer of 2006, and I was in a sort of lobby/holding-area room at the Chicago Board of Trade, awaiting my first interview with HR. There was a stack of magazines on a coffee table, and the one on top had a cover that screamed "Mommy Guilt."

I didn't understand what that phrase meant at the time. I don't think I even read the article, but there must have been something else on the cover that clued me into the phenomenon of hard-working, loving and responsible mothers who believe they're failing on multiple fronts. Now all I can figure is that my mind stored that memory away on purpose, because it knew that one day I would want to remember that I'm not alone in feeling this way.  

"Hey, 2013 self! It's me, your 2006 self. Don't you remember that I saw a magazine article about this? A cover story, no less! It is real — you're not the only one!"

To say I've been overwhelmed by the different types of guilt I've experienced these past 13 months is putting it lightly. So yep, I think I'm going to have to make this topic a regular column. Today I'll start with a kind of guilt that doesn't even have anything to do with failing as a parent, but rather failing as a friend/relative/confidante/message-responder/what-have-you.

A few months ago a friend who I worked with at the Board of Trade, as it were, called me because she had two job offers and wanted my take on the pros and cons of each. If there's one thing I'll admit to being good at, it's giving advice. (Ha! Doesn't everyone think that, though?) But seriously, I could be a life coach ... to everyone but myself.

Or at least there was a day in the not-so-distant past that I could have been a life coach, but not anymore. I didn't return my friend's call. Not when she first left me a message, or a few weeks later when she called (and emailed) again. After she accepted one of the positions we were finally able to meet up for breakfast, and I apologized. But I was frustrated with myself, because this wasn't the first friend who's wondered if I've dropped off the face of the earth.

I'm not going to say "I just don't have time," because that's the most annoying phrase ever, and technically I do have time. So if I'm being honest, I'll say, "I have ALWAYS hated talking on the phone, but since I've had Baba G that hatred has reached new levels. Unless it is an emergency, something for work, or my Grandma calling, I would rather not catch up via phone. Oh, and if you email me, Facebook-message me, text me or write me through Twitter, it'll still probably be a good long while before I respond to you. Sorry."

Yet THE GUILT I feel about this realization. THE GUILT. It is always, always there. Every second I am not doing something for work, spending time with Baba G or crossing a task off of my To Do list, I'm thinking, "Should I call X back? Should I check in with A, B, or C? Should I go through emails and other messages and reply to those that fell through the cracks? Does X hate me?"

This summer I finally made a concerted effort to stop worrying about those things. It took a delayed postpartum depression to make me wake up. I think the depression had its roots in my feeling like I just couldn't keep up with everything anymore. This is a nearly impossible thing for a Type A person to admit — that you can't "handle" something, much less everything. I'm also the kind of person who worries extensively about letting other people down. But I just had to stop. I stopped because I have learned there are feelings way worse than the guilt of failing your friends and relatives. And those feelings are extreme bitterness and resentment that result from using your precious few spare moments of the day to do something you really don't want to do because you'd really rather just completely turn off your brain and watch last night's Smash. Or skim Entertainment Weekly. Or spend 5 minutes scrolling through Facebook or Twitter. Or make a huge bowl of ice cream with berries on top (you know, to be healthy) and just sit in bed and eat it in silence.

My true friends and the people who really care about me will understand. Months might go by, but we'll pick up just where we left off like no time had passed. The others who might get upset or can't deal with my new communication methods and timeframes? Those people will probably fade out of my life. But if they made me feel bad about myself in the first place, then so be it.

Around the time my friend from the Board of Trade was facing her career dilemma, someone posted the article below on Facebook. This person doesn't have kids, but her sister does, and I can only assume she shared it as a sign of support and understanding. It made me feel worlds better, so in case it helps someone else, I'm continuing the share-fest!

I am not a stay-at-home mom (I work from home and have a nanny) and still feel the type of mental and physical exhaustion described above. So I think ALL moms feel this way, no matter what their overall situation is. And rest assured I'll cover "working-mom guilt" and "stay-at-home-mom guilt" in the future, because I am cursed with having both!

In the meantime, don't call me and I won't call you. Hee hee.

Onesie Extenders

One of my friends has three boys and generously passed along bins and bins and bins of beautiful clothes for Baba G. When I was going through all of this loot a few months ago, I came across these little things and had NO IDEA what they were.

Now tell me truly, if you hadn't read the title of this post, would YOU know what these white squares with snaps were for?

My best guess was that they were some sort of toddler cufflinks. I'm not lying.

But then two days ago it hit me after I came across them again. They're onesie extenders. I should've immediately known this, because they're very similar to the bra extenders I bought while pregnant:

Why does this skinny chick need a bra extender, pray tell?

I wish I had realized I had extenders in the house when BG's dad brought him home this ill-fitting souvenir from the Big Apple back in April:

That's one deep V

The bottom line: If you're like me, basic oneies are a staple in your kid's wardrobe. And if your kid is like Baba G (tall for his age, or simply just growing like gangbusters), it's nice to have a way to lengthen the lifespan of those onesies. Enter onesie/garment extenders, which can be purchased in multi-packs and also seem to be made in different sizes.

How many people knew about these already? Or how did you come to learn they existed? If it wasn't for my friend's loot, I still wouldn't know.

Motorola Video Baby Monitor

You could call this product a video monitor... OR you could call it by its official name:

 

The Motorola MBP36 Remote Wireless Video Baby Monitor with Infrared Night Vision and Zoom!!!

(I added in the !!!)

I think I'll stick with just "video monitor."

You might remember when I asked for video monitor recommendations after Baba G started pulling himself up in his crib. I was hesitant about getting one because I didn't want to grow obsessed with watching it, nor did I want to be freaked out by any Paranormal Activity-looking flickers or glowing eyes and whatnot.

Before I solicited advice, I didn't realize that the video screen can be turned off while the audio monitor stays on. Um, that's kind of a key feature! So just imagine this thing on my nightstand with a black screen, because that's what it looks like 95% of the time. If you want to turn off the audio, you'll still have the colored dots at the top that light up horizontally to indicate the noise level in the room. If all of them are lit, that means your kid's a-screamin' his head off. Ours normally has three or four dots lit because of the white noise machine we have in the nursery:

His head's in the left corner + typical "booty-up" pose

We ended up going with the Motorola version because I'd heard so many good things about it from others (and thanks to BG&Me commenter Cindy for her thoughts on this model as well). A close second was the Summer Infant monitor, but we liked how Motorola used a technology that was supposedly less likely to interfere with other signals in your house (more on that in a second) and also showed the room temperature. BG's nursery is unfortunately in the coldest room in our condo, so it was important for me to ensure he wasn't freezing down there. We've been able to adjust our furnace so that his room stays around 70 degrees even in the depths of winter (like right now).

Funny thing is, it also helped us realize that his room was way too HOT while on our disaster vacation to the Dominican Republic. Of the many things that went wrong on that trip, one of the biggest was that the air conditioning in our suite was broken (and it was around 95 degrees that week). We'd brought the monitor with us, and that's how we knew that despite setting up two extra fans in BG's room, it remained a stuffy 77 degrees:

Before The Sickness struck!

Here's a little video I took of Baba G walking around a bit before hitting the hay. I clumsily attempt to demonstrate some of the monitors features...

The bottom line: For us, a video monitor ended up being a must-have gizmo. Right now we're not on the same level as Baba G's nursery, and so it's key for us to be able to see what's going on in there before we open up the door and risk waking him up for good. A lot of times he's really loud when he's shifting positions, and if we couldn't see what he was doing, we might think something was wrong.

The monitor also came in handy when we finally broke down and decided to stop going in his room every time he cried, so as to get him out of the soul-crushing habit of wailing for us at 4 a.m. every morning for no apparent reason. The first night we didn't come in, we used the monitor to watch him get angrier and angrier and stomp around his crib for about 15 minutes. The next night, he protested for 5 minutes. After that, the few times he's woken up in the wee hours have been when he's actually sick.

I don't think I could do without a video monitor at this point, and would highly recommend one to anyone who thinks it might make their lives a bit easier. The best thing about the Motorola one is its ability to be remotely controlled. So we can be in our bedroom and pan the camera in all directions, as well as zoom in and out. The worst thing about it is that it definitely seems to mess with our wireless connection. Not the hugest deal, but we have to have the monitor completely off if we're planning on watching any streaming TV shows or movies.

It's also on the pricey side: about $240 on Amazon. For us it was worth it!

Ab Binders and Wink Shapewear

My best friend

Today's post is dedicated to my friend MBG, a new and proud mom of twins. She also inspired the idea for this post, because after hearing that her son and daughter were delivered via C-section (I believe her toddler came into this world "the old-fashioned way"), I felt compelled to email her and ask if anyone at the hospital had given her an ab binder yet. And now I feel compelled to tell anyone out there who's pregnant about these magical accessories. (Is that the right word? Probably not.)

I had a C-section with Baba G after 24 hours of unsuccessful labor. I had read NOTHING about the procedure and remember just closing my eyes as they wheeled me into the operating room, thinking, "Here goes nuthin'." So in the days that followed, I had no idea that the lower half of my body would swell up like I was a character in one of Eddie Murphy's fat-suit movies. It was CRA-ZY. They strapped these pneumatic boots onto my legs that were constantly massaging my calves in order to help deter blood clots and reduce the swelling. I loved those things. I'm gonna look into whether or not I can buy some, now that I think of it!

ANYWAY, on the last day before we were checking out of the hospital, one of the doctors in my OB-GYN's practice (the only guy, as it were) gave me an ab binder. I was like, "You are insane if you think I'm letting anything NEAR my incision any time soon." I could barely even stand to think about it. All he said was, "Some people find it's much more comfortable with this on."

He was right. An ab binder is just a thick, rectangle-shaped piece of fabric that uses some heavy-duty Velcro to close. It looks like this, and can be used by anyone post-delivery, C-section or not:

I never wore it directly on my skin, and I can't imagine anyone would want to. What it does is help you feel normal again, even though you might not LOOK normal for quite some time. You won't be afraid to laugh or cough or move the wrong way. And if you're like me, it might even serve to help your self-esteem a bit since otherwise most women still appear to pregnant for quite a few months after the kid is on the outside.

For that very reason (and because I loved the hospital-grade ab binder so much), I started to look into what else was on the market that might be easier to wear once I actually had to go out in public. That's when I came across Wink Shapewear's site. Here's what caught my attention from their FAQs page:

"You can start wearing your Wink™ Shapewear slimming garments immediately after a normal delivery. Our exclusive patented fabric is made for post-surgical procedures, which makes them ideal for a post-cesarean delivery. In fact, our slimming system can actually help with recovery. Our patented specialty fabric will aid in healing, discourage fluid accumulation and encourage you to engage your back and core muscles."

Yep, even this.

SOLD! I basically went nuts and ordered like 5 of their products (which aren't cheap) in the size I thought I should be based on their guidelines. Imagine my depression when I could barely fit a toe through those items. (But in my eternal optimism I kept that stuff and re-ordered everything in the next size up, spending another crapload of money. I never wore the originals.) Thankfully, the bigger size worked out.

I became obsessed with these products and had them on 24 hours a day. I couldn't stand the feeling of my stomach just hangin' out without a binder or one of Wink's products on. I wore them for months, well into the summer (BG was born in January), which was when I learned that the Wink stuff wasn't exactly breathable and could make one quite sweaty and miserable in hot weather. I then realized that while I still had a ways to go to get back to my "before Baba G weight" (STILL not there... hmm, I never go to the gym, so what's the problem here?), I could finally pass for a normal, not-pregnant person again without any secret undergarments.

The bottom line: If you're pregnant or plan on having another kid and didn't use any sort of ab binder product the first time around, TRY ONE. I cannot recommend them highly enough. Ask for one while you're still at the hospital, because then you might get it for "free." (HA.) If you can't get one in the hospital, it looks like Walmart sells them for around $16 (I'm sure a ton of other places do, too). If you are going to be hanging around the house for a while, it might be all that you ever need. But if you want something that's a little more manageable with out-in-public clothes, you could look into Wink's products or any of the less-expensive-but-probably-just-as-good brands out there. The point is, get something to help you feel more comfortable in those early weeks.

Anyone use/like a different brand aside from Wink?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Baba G wants to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day!

The ONE PICTURE out of about 200 where he sat still for 2 seconds

BG was only 3 weeks old the first time we celebrated this most Hallmark of holidays, and we've been trying to push the experience out of our minds ever since. It was the low point of our time as parents to date, as BG had mastitis (yes, the breast infection—I'll let you Google why it can happen to a baby boy) and spent a few nights in the hospital as a result. He had to have a spinal tap to ensure the infection hadn't spread (THE low point of the past year) and a ton of antibiotics over three days. They put a crazy cast on him to ensure he didn't pull any needles or drips out.

At least the nurses gave him this little pink heart for the occasion:

Brave boy.

Glad THAT's behind us and there's nothing but hugs and kisses on the horizon this time around.

Pucker up!

Wishing you chocolates and flowers and drama-free celebrations today and tonight!